Amended Taglines for Paul Masson Wines

We will serve no wine before its time…that said, I’m also the same guy who would serve no high calorie snacks during the football game, and that didn’t pan out so well.

We will serve no wine before its time…but then again, we’re all drunk and I didn’t expect the beer to go this fast.

We will serve no wine before its time…and while I’m at it, I will serve no sushi again at the all day, fun-in-the-sun company picnic.

We will serve no wine before its time…oh, and coffee enemas are out too.

We will serve no wine before its time…unless you’re on death row and it’s your last request. We might consider it then.

We will serve no wine before its time…but if you do happen to get some before its time, discontinue use if rash or irritation occurs.

We will serve no wine before its time…and you can’t even have any when it is its time, Bob. Idiot.

We will serve no wine before its time…not even if you offered us a ton of money. Why?  How much were you planning to offer us? That much? Seriously? Well it’s more of a guideline than a rule, really. I mean we could maybe serve a little wine before its time and see how it goes.

We will serve no wine before its time…actually we will, but just saying that makes the wine sound sophisticated, doesn’t it?

We will serve no wine before its time…but for those who just can’t wait, we also have a convenient twelve liter box wine that we’ll serve any old time. One’s ready now.

We will serve no wine before its time…and that goes for our cheese and sauerkraut too. Have you ever tasted cheese or sauerkraut before their time? We definitely need to wait for the cheese and sauerkraut’s time.

These dog days of summer are the perfect time for this week’s recommendation.

Tamari 2009, Torrontes ($14.99): Tamari didn’t hire a fat, drunk actor spewing elitist taglines to peddle their juice. Instead, they simply made the perfect summer wine and let it speak for itself. Virtually everything on the summer picnic table goes with this flavorsome Torrontes. It pairs well with fish, mild cheese, oysters, scallops, crabs, chicken, and cold meats. Just avoid the sushi if it’s been in the sun for a while.

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2 Responses to Amended Taglines for Paul Masson Wines

  1. Sanjay Kuba says:

    Rosebud

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